After last night, I could never be a politician.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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