I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
