return my video game
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
