It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
