Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ttyl tear gas
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
