when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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