i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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