I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
