so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
