Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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