This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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