ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
