I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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