I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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