I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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