I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
