Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
