Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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