remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
