Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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