I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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