the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
