i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He felt like a one man threesome
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
