a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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