I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
