I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
