it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
