would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
