He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
