Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
