She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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