all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
