So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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