hotel room ftw
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
