Who wears a wallet chain?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
