Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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