Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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