i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
