I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
