Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
