Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
