He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
