I wish I could punch you in the face.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
