I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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