C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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