like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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