she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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