he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
