Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
