Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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