i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
